NICHOLAS

30-year Art and Creative Director for San Francisco ad agencies

I’ve never taken money from anybody before in my life. I’ve never been in a position where I couldn’t pay my mortgage, with my back up against the wall, as I’ve been the last few years. Even in college I never took money from my family. It’s a big deal to have to go through this.

I was a creative director until 2000, when my wife died of cancer. I hadn’t had a break in 30 years, so I decided to sell a second home and take off the year to be with her and my daughter, who was 9.

I wanted to ease back into the business by freelancing so I could still be home with my daughter. But lo and behold, the ad business totally fell apart in the Bay Area because of the dot-com bubble. It’s been the worst I’ve seen it and I’ve been here since the mid-70s. By 2003, my money was gone and my feet were to the fire. I also hit the grand old age of 50, which seemed to draw a line in the sand for getting jobs.

A friend came along and said, “I need my house painted, do you want to do that?” so I did. I’ve been painting houses for the last two years. But it’s not full-time and it brings in one-quarter the hourly income I can get for freelance Creative Director consulting, so it doesn’t cover everything. I’ve got a huge amount of debt.

I’ve been on the phone a lot networking, calling past contacts. I called one friend who I hadn’t spoken to in awhile and she said, “Have you heard about BAARC?” I hadn’t. They really helped me out big time, paying bills like PG&E and my mortgage. I’ve nearly had my electricity cut off, my phone shut off, and my health insurance canceled.

If it wasn’t for them, I would have had to sell my house and leave the Bay Area. If I had sold, I would never have been able to afford another house here, and I would be living in an apartment paying the same amount as my mortgage.

It’s very challenging to ask for help. You have to eat your pride. My daughter is going to start high school and I don’t want to pull her out of it. There is also a lot of anger about this business. I’ve given it 30 years of my life. Because I’m not 20 years old, pierced left, right, and center, and don’t know every software program on the planet, my 30 years of experience isn’t worth a damn.

My father, who lives overseas, had a scare in a hospital. My relatives paid for us to go for a couple of weeks, otherwise we couldn’t have gone. We manage to squeeze things out here and there. I’ve painted practically every single day lately and with BAARC’s help, I’ve been able to get through.

My case worker is very nice, very understanding, a good ear. This business is rife with holier-than-thou attitude, but there was none of that. The BAARC people are very genuine, very positive, very supportive. The office staff helped expedite the paperwork and the process so I was receiving support within a few weeks of applying. I also got a freelance Creative Director job through a BAARC board member.

When they accepted my application, I felt a lot of relief. I guess the other emotion was shock at how much they were willing to help. They’ve given me and my family thousands of dollars. I didn’t think anyone in the ad industry gave a hoot, but my experience with BAARC was reaffirming.

It makes you feel great—you know you’re not alone. Once you get over your hesitation, you go, “Wow! This is an issue that is nothing to be ashamed of. There are a lot of other people going through this.”

"I daresay that many fine folks helped engineer a minor miracle for me."
-Grant Recipient

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